The Heartbreaking Words That Stopped Me on My Tracks
Last week, my third-grader came home from her first day of school with tear-filled eyes and a heartbreaking statement: “Mom, they wouldn’t let me cry or feel sad.”
Those words stopped me in my tracks. As a mom, I felt an immediate wave of sadness and frustration. I know how hard it is for our kids to navigate big emotions, especially in new and overwhelming environments like the first day of school. All she really needed at that moment was someone to tell her it was okay to feel nervous, scared, or anxious. But instead, she was met with attempts to shut down her feelings, leaving her to carry them alone.
When Comfort Turns into Fixing
As moms and teachers, we naturally want to soothe our kids and make everything better. We say things like, “Don’t worry, it’s going to be okay!” or “There’s no need to cry, everything’s fine!” Our intentions are pure, driven by love and the desire to protect them from pain. But what I’m realizing more and more is that, sometimes, our kids and students don’t need solutions—they need space to feel heard, seen, and understood.
Holding Space for Emotions
When kids are upset, sad, or anxious, they don’t always want us to fix things. They just want us to be present. My daughter didn’t need a pep talk or reassurance that everything would be fine. She needed someone to acknowledge that her feelings were real and valid. She needed to hear that it’s normal to feel nervous on the first day of school and that it’s okay to cry when you’re feeling overwhelmed.
The Power of Presence Over Solutions
I’ve learned that holding space for our kids means creating an environment where they can express their emotions without fear of being dismissed or rushed through them. It’s about sitting with them in their sadness, fear, or frustration and letting them know we’re here, no matter what. In those moments, our presence and understanding are far more valuable than any quick fix.
This Lesson is for Us Moms and Teachers, Too
And this lesson isn’t just for our kids—it’s for us, too. How often do we, as adults, push down our own emotions because we feel we should be “strong” or “fine”? We tell ourselves we shouldn’t feel anxious, scared, or sad, and we judge ourselves for having those feelings. But emotions aren’t problems to be solved; they’re messages from within that help us tune into what’s really going on inside.
Emotions are Meant to Be Felt, Not Fixed
When we allow ourselves to feel without judgment, we open the door to self-compassion and healing. It’s okay to have tough days, to feel nervous, or to cry when we’re overwhelmed. Our emotions are part of our humanity, and they deserve to be felt, not fixed.
How Was Your First Week?
So, how was the first week of school for your kiddos? And how are you doing? Whether it’s been smooth sailing or filled with bumps along the way, I’d love to hear how things are going for you and your family. Let’s keep supporting each other as we navigate the emotional ups and downs of parenthood.
Being There with Open Hearts
In the end, it’s not about having all the answers. It’s about being there—with open hearts, ready to hold space for our kids and for ourselves.
Thanks for reading and sharing this journey with me. 💛 Share this blog with a fellow momma or teacher who would benefit from this message.
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