When It Feels Like Nothing Is Working

By Francini Estes| MOM Mental Gym

A woman sits bathed in warm sunlight, eyes closed and hands clasped in front of her face, reflecting a moment of introspection and meditation.

The Harder I Try, the Harder It Gets

Have you ever been in a season where the harder you try, the worse it gets?

I have.

As moms, we carry so much weight. We try to hold everything together—our families, our homes, our kids’ mental health. When someone we love is struggling, we don’t hesitate to jump in. We research, we pray, we rearrange everything…

But sometimes, it feels like nothing is working.

Doing All the Right Things… Still Not Working

We switch therapists. We change schools. We pray harder. We try to be more patient. We try everything…

And yet—things stay the same. Or worse, they fall apart.

It's discouraging. Overwhelming. Exhausting.

What to Do When Nothing Is Working as a Mom

Here’s a question I’ve started asking:What does “working” even look like?

Maybe we’ve defined success as quick fixes and clear results.But what if something is working beneath the surface—invisibly, quietly?

Our Adoption Journey: A Lesson in Trust

When we started our adoption journey, I was full of hope. We decorated a nursery. I had a baby shower. I thought we had reached the finish line.

But it didn’t work out. The adoption fell through. Again.

Every time we said, “This time it’s working,” it wasn’t.

I was heartbroken.

But looking back, I now see something powerful: It was working.All those closed doors were leading us to the children who were meant to be ours. Now, I have the privilege of raising beautiful, extraordinary children—because of that plan.

Even when I didn’t understand it.

Reframing the Struggle

So now, when it feels like nothing is working, I ask myself:Could this be what working looks like?Could this moment of silence, struggle, or confusion be part of a greater plan?

I believe the answer is yes.

You Are Not Alone

We’re not alone in feeling this way. Even the Savior experienced deep anguish when things didn’t make sense.

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland said in his BYU devotional, The Inconvenient Messiah:

“If your prayers don’t always seem answered, take heart. One greater than you cried, ‘My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?’ If for a while the harder you try, the harder it gets, take heart. So it has been with the best people who ever lived.”

👉 Read the full devotional here

You’re Doing Better Than You Think

If you’re reading this and it feels like you’re drowning, please hear me:You are doing better than you think.

Even if no one sees the effort.Even if the outcome isn’t what you expected.Even if it all feels upside-down.

Keep walking.Keep breathing.Keep trusting.

The plan is working—even when it doesn’t feel like it.

And while that belief may not make life easier, it brings peace.And in the quiet of that peace, you will find your strength again.

With love and faith in you,

Francini

MOM Mental Gym

🌿 Ready to Take the Next Step?

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If you're longing to respond with more patience—even when you're exhausted, triggered, or overwhelmed…

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You don’t have to do this alone—and you can become the mom you want to be.